hola crewmigos, I am going to continue the epic tale that i began yesterday with a second installment of Kanticles from my comf mcgomf temporary bed in nashville tennessee. also, today i have decided to use capital letters sparsely, so as to not waste their effect.
i am going to now tell you about the family that i am staying with. the producer i am working with (the afore mentioned man named lynn) is an average sized man who dresses like you would imagine a music industry executive would dress…black rimmed glasses, today he was wearing skinny black jeans with a vest and tie, and hair forhawked so high in the air that al gore should be worried about it puncturing the atmosphere, not global warming. anyways, despite his style he is an extremely nice guy who knows his stuff (he discovered switchfoot and mat kearney) so he is legit. his wife is a woman that i cannot remember her name….she was the first person to meet me when i arrived though. she is constantly awkward, but it is fine because she laughs constantly even when nothing is being said. it is quite an interesting site…here is an example from when i first arrived…(i walk to the door and it opens)…
woman – you must be chris
chris – yes how are you?
woman – i am doing well how are you hahahahahahahahahaha
chris – ….(uncomfortable half-laugh)…i am doing well…
woman – hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah….
…this would continue on for about 15 minutes until lynn showed up and broke things open. but again, she is funny, but overall she is the nicest woman ever who is always trying to give me food…really really good food…so obviously i oblige her and take it off her hands.
now comes the most interesting member of the family. lynn’s son. his name is damonn (yes spelled with two n’s…remember they are artistic people…) he is 21 years old and is either the most feminine person i have ever met or one of the gayest. my guess is the latter. he has the largest gay lisp since perez hilton and carries a murse larger than the walrus’s butt. but again, he is a really nice guy. he has driven me to vocal lessons and lunch etc. here is an example. we went to this really nice restaurant for lunch yesterday called j. alexanders. there are a large majority of extremely good looking waitresses there. i was going overboard flirting with them because i did not want them to think that i was gay too, because damonn is overly flamboyant. thankfully he does not find me attractive and he is well aware that i am straight (i spent that ENTIRE lunch talking about a made up girlfriend that i had back at school, how amazing she was etc….) so yes, i have gone through great lengths here…but overall he has been nothing but nice to me.
one final chapter remains before i close this kanticle. the first night i was here, i was told that there was a birthday party their family was going to. i was invited and decided to go…im not sure why i decided this. although it did lead to me playing a guitar formerly owned by The Beatles’ own George Harrison, it also led to me being out til 2am (after waking up at 530) with everyone smashed except for me and lynns wife. then we went to steak and shake…that was my first night there.
oh, and the title of this post comes from a phrase that damonn used to describe nashville…not too sure what it means. perhaps one of the ladies could shed some light on this for me??
the rest of the week promises to be interesting.
more tomorrow.
miss you love you
christophersen
this is freaking hilarious. I laughed so hard at the part that you talk about the son and how you went overboard with the waitresses so they wouldn’t think you were gay!
and i think the title means that everyone tries to be all churchy out in the open, but really the night life is raunchy … or something along those lines.
YES!!!Yes!!Yes!!! Wow! this is awesomeness!!! the comparison of his murse to a walruses ass is hilarious.